Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! Pop quiz: name the show that quote up there came from. Bonus points if you can recall the exact episode. I've begun deconstructing my Craig's List chair, which is a slooow process. On a related note, I have had ample time to re-watch my all-time favorite television show (the source of the quote above). However, that's neither here nor there and it's V-Day so I guess I should talk about love, right?

(crickets chirping)

(paint drying)

(glaciers melting)

So yeah, apparently I'm not much of an expert on love. Besides, I'm fairly certain that subject has been pretty much covered by the likes of Jesus, Shakespeare, and every trashy romance novelist ever. Nevertheless, after a decade of misadventures in dating, I've learned a thing or two about a thing or two. So, for your reading pleasure, and so that other's may avoid my mistakes, I've compiled a handy list of Valentine DO's and DON'T's.

DON'T go overboard. Sure there's a time and a place for some lovey-dovey stuff, but there is NOTHING worse than forced romance. Guy who took me to a golf course so that we could slow dance on the green in the moonlight while you sang Frank Sinatra to me...on our first date? I'm looking at you. And, I really am sorry for laughing and ruining the romantic moment you were trying to create. Just...no. Yikes. Don't be that guy...or girl.

DON'T be a hater. What's the Valentine's version of Ebenezer Scrooge? The Devil, maybe? Don't be that person. What, you don't "believe" in Valentine's Day because it's a commercialized holiday invented by Hallmark and the chocolate/diamond/lingerie industry? Whatever. If you are going to take moral issue with a holiday, try Thanksgiving. Call me crazy but stealing America from the Native Americans is way worse than buying in to a commercialized holiday. Hello, have you heard of Christmas? Baby Jesus has been exploited just as much as Cupid. Just buck up and make Valentine's Day happen for your significant other.

DO the unexpected. A dozen red roses? A heart-shaped necklace? Overpriced dinner and drinks at a fancy restaurant? You're doing it wrong, my friend. Valentine's Day is about showing your love and appreciation for that special person in your life. That doesn't mean you have to play into all the V-Day cliches. Be unique, be personal, be creative. One of my most memorable Valentine's Day involved a home-cooked meal, a couple bottles of wine, and an intense night of Scrabble. Know why that guy dominated the holiday? Because he knew what I liked and made the night perfect for me. Simple as that.

DO enjoy this holiday! It doesn't matter if you're single or coupled. Pull out your pink and red clothes, give yourself a Valentine manicure, buy yourself something special. Valentine's Day doesn't have to be stressful and cliche. Think of it as a day to treat yourself and your loved ones extra special. What's not to like about that?

Hope these pearls of dating wisdom help. I'll be back tomorrow with a delicious recipe for all you love birds. Have a great Valentine's Day!